Do you know enough to REALLY protect your kids from child sexual abuse? Do you know that 90% of all sexually abused children are abused by someone they know? “Stranger Danger” awareness is NOT enough. Come here and listen to guest speaker Elizabeth Pitts, formerly from the Chester County DA’s office, speak about how to better protect the children in your life.
An advocate for victims of clergy sex abuse and a prosecutor who handled one of Essex County’s most high-profile murder cases will be recognized Wednesday by the state attorney general for their service to crime victims.
Mark Crawford, the New Jersey director of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, and Romesh Sukhdeo, an assistant prosecutor in Essex County, will receive awards during a morning ceremony at the Hughes Justice Complex in Trenton.
“Through their relentless efforts, the men being honored at this week’s ceremony change the landscape every day within their own communities and throughout New Jersey,” acting Attorney General John Hoffman said in a statement today.
The awards, the first of their kind bestowed by the attorney general’s office, coincide with Crime Victims’ Rights Week and the 30th anniversary of the Victims of Crimes Act.
Crawford, who was abused as a child by his parish priest, will receive the Ronald W. Reagan Award. He was nominated by state Sen. Joseph Vitale (D-Middlesex), who said Crawford tirelessly listens to and educates abuse victims from across New Jersey and beyond.
Essex County Assistant Prosecutor Romesh Sukhdeo, seen here in court in 2012, will be honored by the Attorney General’s Office for his work helping victims of violent crime.John O’Boyle/The Star-Ledger
“Because of Mark’s efforts, many individuals, after living in years of silence and shame, learned of their predators’ crimes and came forward themselves, finally getting help and holding their offender accountable,” Vitale said.
Sukhdeo, who will receive the Gladiator Award, served on the prosecution team that won convictions in the 2007 murders of three college-age friends in a Newark schoolyard. A fourth person was seriously injured. Sukhdeo was an invaluable help to family members of the victims throughout the process, said Deputy Chief Assistant Prosecutor Gwendolyn Williams, who nominated him.
“When victim survivor family members had issues with their employers, he didn’t hesitate to assist them so they could be present at each stage of the court proceedings.” Williams said. “All defendants were either found guilty at trial or pled guilty. Whenever the victim survivors have vigils celebrating the life of their loved one, Mr. Sukhdeo is present.”
http://sol-reform.com/News/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Hamilton-Logo.jpg00SOL Reformhttp://sol-reform.com/News/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Hamilton-Logo.jpgSOL Reform2014-04-08 19:12:252014-04-08 19:12:25 Advocate for Clergy Sex Abuse Victims, Assistant Prosecutor to be Honored by Attorney General
“Good developments but survivors’ access to justice remains difficult in PA” – Professor Marci A. Hamilton
BY ROBERT SWIFT (HARRISBURG BUREAU CHIEF)
Published: April 5, 2014
HARRISBURG – The legislative response to the Jerry Sandusky scandal continues to unfold with two additional bills strengthening the state’s child protection system awaiting Gov. Tom Corbett’s signing.
One measure would require professionals who care for or supervise children to have ongoing training in how to identify child abuse and report it.
This training bill will make it less likely that abuse of a child goes unnoticed and unreported, sponsors said.
“Mandated reporters are so critical in uncovering a crime that, while pervasive, is kept in the dark while innocent children suffer in silence,” said Rep. Mauree Gingrich, R-101, Cleona, the bill sponsor. “My legislation will help to ensure that those whose jobs require them to interact regularly with children are trained to recognize the signs of child abuse and know how to report it.”
The other bill would establish a state database containing reports of child abuse and children in need of protective services that law enforcement and social agencies can access. Mr. Corbett plans to sign this bill Monday.
Lawmakers are wrapping up work on another key bill that specifies which individuals in a profession or line of work must report suspected child abuse.
This bill faces final votes next week, said Rep. Todd Stephens, R-151, North Wales, who’s worked on the issue.
Among those required to report under the bill are health care providers, school administrators and employees, social services workers and individuals, paid or volunteer, who are directly responsible for a child such as through the activities of a youth organization.
Lawmakers have reached a compromise to include attorneys representing an institution that cares for children as mandatory reporters subject to the state court rules governing attorney conduct, said Mr. Stephens.
Another bill awaiting final action would upgrade penalties for mandated reporters who fail to report.
The effort to revamp state laws protecting children stems from the arrest in November 2011 of Mr. Sandusky, a former Penn State University football coach, on child sex abuse charges and his subsequent conviction and imprisonment in 2012. The state Supreme Court refused this week to hear Mr. Sandusky’s appeal of his conviction.
A special state task force made recommendations to revamp child abuse laws in late 2012, and bills were introduced in both the House and Senate this session. A number of bills addressing such topics as tougher penalties for child pornography, a broader definition for what constitutes child abuse and defining who is a perpetrator of child abuse have already been signed into law.
http://sol-reform.com/News/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Hamilton-Logo.jpg00SOL Reformhttp://sol-reform.com/News/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Hamilton-Logo.jpgSOL Reform2014-04-06 18:54:042014-04-06 18:54:04More child abuse bills in final stretch (The Times-Tribune)
Ohio law gives victims of childhood sexual abuse until age 30 to file lawsuits over the trauma they couldn’t acknowledge until they become adults.
Amid furor over sexual abuse by some Catholic priests, lawmakers in 2006 enacted a law instituting a 12-year statute of limitations for the filing of lawsuits from the time most victims turn 18 years of age.
The law permits almost anyone to be sued for damages within 12 years — parents, teachers, coaches, clergy, juvenile-detention-center employees and others.
But, those who claim they were sexually preyed upon by state employees at state institutions don’t have nearly as long to turn to court.
Damage claims against the state must be filed within two years of an injury or loss under a separate law.
A Cleveland woman who alleges she was raped by two guards in 2000 at age 14 in the soon-to-close Scioto Juvenile Correctional Facility in Delaware says that is unfair — and illegal.
The Ohio Supreme Court will hear arguments on April 30 from the woman’s lawyer, who claims the law improperly holds the state to a lesser standard and shields it from damage claims by childhood sex-abuse victims.
Both the Court of Claims and the Franklin County Court of Appeals dismissed the case first filed in 2012, saying it was not filed within the required two years.
“It violates equal protection under the law,” said Jill Flagg, an Akron lawyer representing the woman. “There shouldn’t be a shorter standard to file a claim against the state. It violates public policy.”
The Department of Youth Services declined to comment on the court case. But, spokeswoman Kim Parsell said the woman who alleges she was victimized at Scioto never reported she was sexually abused while in state custody. Flagg said her client, now age 27, did report the assaults.
Scioto, which is closing amid an ever-smaller number of incarcerated youth, and other Ohio juvenile correction facilities have some of the highest sexual-assault rates in the nation, according to federal figures.
“If we win this lawsuit, then all those kids can have justice, the healing power from bringing a lawsuit after they process the abuse,” Flagg said.
“They would finally be able to speak about something they couldn’t when they were a kid and say, ‘This is wrong.’ ”
rludlow@dispatch.com
@RandyLudlow
http://sol-reform.com/News/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Hamilton-Logo.jpg00SOL Reformhttp://sol-reform.com/News/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Hamilton-Logo.jpgSOL Reform2014-04-06 18:52:032014-04-06 18:52:03Law limits sexual-abuse victims to 2 years to sue state
A WEEK ago, Cardinal Angelo Bagnasco, head of the Italian Episcopal Conference, defended the Vatican’s policy of not requiring clergy to report child sex abuse to the authorities. “The Vatican requires national laws to be respected, and we know that there is no such duty (to report abuse) under Italian law,” he told reporters.
It was a disappointment because Pope Francis had just appointed a commission to advise him on sex-abuse policy. Bagnasco’s comments sounded like business as usual.
The comments also ignore the scathing report issued by a United Nations human-rights committee in February, which rebuked the Vatican for its long-standing and systematic cover-up of sexual abuse of children around the world. The report made concrete suggestions for ways to protect children in the future.
I call on Pope Francis and his newly formed committee to respond to Bagnasco’s words by showing they take the U.N. report seriously. To do so, he must take action now to acknowledge the Vatican’s leadership role and initiate a worldwide process to end priest sexual abuse of children and to begin healing the Catholic Church.
Pope Francis can begin by conducting the sweeping investigation of all cases of abuse the U.N. committee on human rights has requested. He can require the mandatory reporting of abuse to police. He can encourage victims to come forward even if statutes of limitation have expired. He can compensate victims and hold accountable those who covered up clergy abuse.
For starters, Francis could defrock, demote or discipline Bishop Robert Finn of St. Louis, Mo., who was convicted of shielding an abusive priest. The pope should extradite Archbishop Józef Wesolowski of Poland, who is wanted by law enforcement for allegedly molesting five children. Action against both prelates would scare other bishops into obeying secular laws and helping, rather than hindering, the prosecution of predators.
Pope Francis should order all bishops to post on their websites — as 30 U.S. bishops have done — the names, photos, whereabouts and work histories of proven, admitted and credibly accused child-molesting clerics.
Then, publicly praise and promote the first few who do so. Francis should mandate bishops across the world to begin lobbying for better secular child-safety laws, then publicly praise and promote the first few who do.
It will take proven, public and practical steps that actually protect those at risk, expose those who commit clergy sex crimes and punish those who conceal them. Pope Francis must make sure bishops who conceal child sex crimes are punished inside and outside the Catholic Church.
Pedophile priests cannot be deterred. Complicit bishops can. Only the pope can do this. He can do it quickly and simply, by defrocking or demoting them and making it crystal clear why he is taking such actions. Consistent discipline is the missing piece. And that’s why the cover-ups continue.
Prayers, policies, pledges, apologies and meetings with victims aren’t enough. They are public-relations tactics, all said and done before. They don’t safeguard a single child, expose a single predator or deter a single cover-up. Symbolic moves are actually hurtful because they support a sense of complacency and give people false hope that real reform will follow, when it hasn’t and isn’t.
If Pope Francis insists on using only words and gestures, he should publicly praise Jennifer Haselberger, the brave Minnesota whistle-blower whose disclosures have prompted pending police investigations and exposed numerous child-molesting clerics and corrupt church officials.
But words and gestures alone won’t work and Pope Francis must know it. He must find the courage to wield a stick. It’s time for him to get serious, protect vulnerable children and be the leader he is called to be.
Mary Dispenza is the Puget Sound representative for SNAP, the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests. She is also the author of “Split: A Child, a Priest and the Catholic Church.”
http://sol-reform.com/News/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Hamilton-Logo.jpg00SOL Reformhttp://sol-reform.com/News/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Hamilton-Logo.jpgSOL Reform2014-04-06 15:22:302014-04-06 15:22:30Guest: Swift action needed from Pope Francis on child sex abuse (Seattle Times)
He is still seven years old. He is still being given the special treats he loves and the extra attention he savors by the counselor he trusts. He is still being groomed. There are back rubs he enjoys . . . and then there is more. Did the counselor really mean to do what he did, or was that by accident? There is confusion. The seven-year-old submits because he is afraid to suddenly say no. Daily, the abuse continues and escalates. Although he looks like a very eligible 30-year-old, he is still seven years old, still terrified of trusting, because that means getting tricked.
He is still seven years oldShe is still five years old, and her older brother is still holding her down and doing what he feels like to her. She is still hearing the footsteps of the rest of her family, walking in the living room above, unable to protect her from what is happening in the basement right below them. She may appear to be a 55-year-old woman now, but anytime she hears people walking on a floor above her, she is still being violated.
Trauma and the Brain
Often, well-meaning people are not able to understand why many survivors of abuse are not able to “just get over it.” When one understands the mechanisms of the brain and the way it stores and retrieves memories, however, the picture becomes clearer.
Traumatic experiences remain encoded in a primitive part of our brain, the amygdala, which automatically goes into “fight or flight” mode when triggered by certain stimuli, even decades later.
The lower part of our brainstem, unlike our far more complex prefrontal cortex, doesn’t have the level of sophistication needed to be able to tell the difference between triggers that signal real danger and those that do not. Footsteps above or even a particular place or food can elicit an automatic response that floods the body with terror, since those stimuli are neurologically linked to the approach of the abuser.
Survivors of abuse would love to be able to move forward with their lives! Why would anyone want to feel trapped by depression,So how can we help? PTSD, dissociative disorders, eating disorders, drug addictions and anxiety? Unfortunately, these are the diverse symptoms that may manifest in survivors of abuse.
Treatment and Support
Since trauma resides in the mind, body and spirit, it can be extremely hard to recover from its effects. Recent advancements in functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), however, have demonstrated the neuroplasticity of even the lower brain, proving physiologically what our Jewish texts have always made clear—that great healing, though clearly challenging, is possible.
So how can we help?
For one, it’s important that survivors get the treatment they need. Clinical experts with comprehensive knowledge of the most effective treatment modalities for healing trauma can be very helpful to survivors in the recovery process.
But you don’t need an advanced degree in psychology to be there for someone who is suffering. The awareness alone of how survivors are haunted by flashbacks and are trying to avoid certain triggers can help you respond with more understanding and compassion. In Ethics of Our Fathers (2:5), we are wisely encouraged not to judge people unless we have been in their situation.
Here are some examples of things that are usually helpful to say (if said from the heart):
● I’m sorry this happened to you.
● If you ever feel like talking, I am here to listen.
● I care about you.
● How can I be of help?
● I don’t know what to say.
Prevention and Protection
We are learning that 95% of sexual abuse is preventable through education, so let’s continue to calmly and clearly teach young children how to be aware of inappropriate behavior and how to respond. If we are proactive, then it is unlikely that a child’s intuition will be easily disarmed by the perpetrators that they encounter.
There still remains a widespread myth that predators appear scary, when they usually strive very hard to appear just as pleasant and altruistic—and sometimes even more so—than most people. Children need to learn that even people who act nice in many ways can sometimes listen to their yetzer harah (evil inclination), and they should be sure to tell a trusted adult if any inappropriate behavior occurs.
As adults, we should know that even if the statute of limitations has passed, and a perpetrator of abuse can no longer be prosecuted for a particular crime, the crime should still be reported to theSexual abuse is a particularly invasive type of abuse civil authorities. If the predator is still alive and not incarcerated, he is still likely to be molesting children. In numerous cases, decades-old reports have helped to apprehend active perpetrators.
The Pure Soul
Sexual abuse is a particularly invasive type of abuse, as it destroys innocence. What was stolen cannot be given back. The defilement, however, is unable to reach into the deepest levels of the soul, the infinite part of oneself that is always connected to G‑d. For protection, a survivor’s inner core may have become well-hidden. Wrapped and trapped in fear, the soul’s light may appear darkened, but beneath all the protective coverings, it still exudes a uniquely beautiful light full of Divine energy that is as pure and radiant as ever. Our appreciation of this, combined with patience and dedication, can help us support all those who are still hurting.
Like everyone else, survivors of abuse yearn to be loved. And their unique light, which has been clouded over, still yearns to shine.
http://sol-reform.com/News/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Hamilton-Logo.jpg00SOL Reformhttp://sol-reform.com/News/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Hamilton-Logo.jpgSOL Reform2014-04-06 15:20:572014-04-06 15:21:13Why Can’t They Just Get Over It?
PA: Keep Your Kids Safe, Apr. 12 Event
/in Pennsylvania /by SOL ReformAdvocate for Clergy Sex Abuse Victims, Assistant Prosecutor to be Honored by Attorney General
/in New Jersey /by SOL ReformBY MARK MUELLER (THE STAR LEDGER)
Published: April 7, 2014
An advocate for victims of clergy sex abuse and a prosecutor who handled one of Essex County’s most high-profile murder cases will be recognized Wednesday by the state attorney general for their service to crime victims.
Mark Crawford, the New Jersey director of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, and Romesh Sukhdeo, an assistant prosecutor in Essex County, will receive awards during a morning ceremony at the Hughes Justice Complex in Trenton.
“Through their relentless efforts, the men being honored at this week’s ceremony change the landscape every day within their own communities and throughout New Jersey,” acting Attorney General John Hoffman said in a statement today.
The awards, the first of their kind bestowed by the attorney general’s office, coincide with Crime Victims’ Rights Week and the 30th anniversary of the Victims of Crimes Act.
Crawford, who was abused as a child by his parish priest, will receive the Ronald W. Reagan Award. He was nominated by state Sen. Joseph Vitale (D-Middlesex), who said Crawford tirelessly listens to and educates abuse victims from across New Jersey and beyond.
Essex County Assistant Prosecutor Romesh Sukhdeo, seen here in court in 2012, will be honored by the Attorney General’s Office for his work helping victims of violent crime.John O’Boyle/The Star-Ledger
“Because of Mark’s efforts, many individuals, after living in years of silence and shame, learned of their predators’ crimes and came forward themselves, finally getting help and holding their offender accountable,” Vitale said.
Sukhdeo, who will receive the Gladiator Award, served on the prosecution team that won convictions in the 2007 murders of three college-age friends in a Newark schoolyard. A fourth person was seriously injured. Sukhdeo was an invaluable help to family members of the victims throughout the process, said Deputy Chief Assistant Prosecutor Gwendolyn Williams, who nominated him.
“When victim survivor family members had issues with their employers, he didn’t hesitate to assist them so they could be present at each stage of the court proceedings.” Williams said. “All defendants were either found guilty at trial or pled guilty. Whenever the victim survivors have vigils celebrating the life of their loved one, Mr. Sukhdeo is present.”
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2014/04/advocate_for_clergy_sex_abuse_victims_assistant_prosecutor_to_be_honored_by_attorney_general.html
More child abuse bills in final stretch (The Times-Tribune)
/in Pennsylvania /by SOL Reform“Good developments but survivors’ access to justice remains difficult in PA” – Professor Marci A. Hamilton
Published: April 5, 2014
HARRISBURG – The legislative response to the Jerry Sandusky scandal continues to unfold with two additional bills strengthening the state’s child protection system awaiting Gov. Tom Corbett’s signing.
One measure would require professionals who care for or supervise children to have ongoing training in how to identify child abuse and report it.
This training bill will make it less likely that abuse of a child goes unnoticed and unreported, sponsors said.
“Mandated reporters are so critical in uncovering a crime that, while pervasive, is kept in the dark while innocent children suffer in silence,” said Rep. Mauree Gingrich, R-101, Cleona, the bill sponsor. “My legislation will help to ensure that those whose jobs require them to interact regularly with children are trained to recognize the signs of child abuse and know how to report it.”
The other bill would establish a state database containing reports of child abuse and children in need of protective services that law enforcement and social agencies can access. Mr. Corbett plans to sign this bill Monday.
Lawmakers are wrapping up work on another key bill that specifies which individuals in a profession or line of work must report suspected child abuse.
This bill faces final votes next week, said Rep. Todd Stephens, R-151, North Wales, who’s worked on the issue.
Among those required to report under the bill are health care providers, school administrators and employees, social services workers and individuals, paid or volunteer, who are directly responsible for a child such as through the activities of a youth organization.
Lawmakers have reached a compromise to include attorneys representing an institution that cares for children as mandatory reporters subject to the state court rules governing attorney conduct, said Mr. Stephens.
Another bill awaiting final action would upgrade penalties for mandated reporters who fail to report.
The effort to revamp state laws protecting children stems from the arrest in November 2011 of Mr. Sandusky, a former Penn State University football coach, on child sex abuse charges and his subsequent conviction and imprisonment in 2012. The state Supreme Court refused this week to hear Mr. Sandusky’s appeal of his conviction.
A special state task force made recommendations to revamp child abuse laws in late 2012, and bills were introduced in both the House and Senate this session. A number of bills addressing such topics as tougher penalties for child pornography, a broader definition for what constitutes child abuse and defining who is a perpetrator of child abuse have already been signed into law.
http://m.thetimes-tribune.com/
Law limits sexual-abuse victims to 2 years to sue state
/in Ohio /by SOL ReformAmid furor over sexual abuse by some Catholic priests, lawmakers in 2006 enacted a law instituting a 12-year statute of limitations for the filing of lawsuits from the time most victims turn 18 years of age.
The law permits almost anyone to be sued for damages within 12 years — parents, teachers, coaches, clergy, juvenile-detention-center employees and others.
But, those who claim they were sexually preyed upon by state employees at state institutions don’t have nearly as long to turn to court.
Damage claims against the state must be filed within two years of an injury or loss under a separate law.
A Cleveland woman who alleges she was raped by two guards in 2000 at age 14 in the soon-to-close Scioto Juvenile Correctional Facility in Delaware says that is unfair — and illegal.
The Ohio Supreme Court will hear arguments on April 30 from the woman’s lawyer, who claims the law improperly holds the state to a lesser standard and shields it from damage claims by childhood sex-abuse victims.
Both the Court of Claims and the Franklin County Court of Appeals dismissed the case first filed in 2012, saying it was not filed within the required two years.
“It violates equal protection under the law,” said Jill Flagg, an Akron lawyer representing the woman. “There shouldn’t be a shorter standard to file a claim against the state. It violates public policy.”
The Department of Youth Services declined to comment on the court case. But, spokeswoman Kim Parsell said the woman who alleges she was victimized at Scioto never reported she was sexually abused while in state custody. Flagg said her client, now age 27, did report the assaults.
Scioto, which is closing amid an ever-smaller number of incarcerated youth, and other Ohio juvenile correction facilities have some of the highest sexual-assault rates in the nation, according to federal figures.
“If we win this lawsuit, then all those kids can have justice, the healing power from bringing a lawsuit after they process the abuse,” Flagg said.
“They would finally be able to speak about something they couldn’t when they were a kid and say, ‘This is wrong.’ ”
rludlow@dispatch.com
@RandyLudlow
Guest: Swift action needed from Pope Francis on child sex abuse (Seattle Times)
/in Washington /by SOL ReformIt’s time For Pope Francis to get serious about protecting vulnerable children from sexual abuse by priests, writes guest columnist Mary Dispenza.
By Mary Dispenza
A WEEK ago, Cardinal Angelo Bagnasco, head of the Italian Episcopal Conference, defended the Vatican’s policy of not requiring clergy to report child sex abuse to the authorities. “The Vatican requires national laws to be respected, and we know that there is no such duty (to report abuse) under Italian law,” he told reporters.
It was a disappointment because Pope Francis had just appointed a commission to advise him on sex-abuse policy. Bagnasco’s comments sounded like business as usual.
The comments also ignore the scathing report issued by a United Nations human-rights committee in February, which rebuked the Vatican for its long-standing and systematic cover-up of sexual abuse of children around the world. The report made concrete suggestions for ways to protect children in the future.
I call on Pope Francis and his newly formed committee to respond to Bagnasco’s words by showing they take the U.N. report seriously. To do so, he must take action now to acknowledge the Vatican’s leadership role and initiate a worldwide process to end priest sexual abuse of children and to begin healing the Catholic Church.
Pope Francis can begin by conducting the sweeping investigation of all cases of abuse the U.N. committee on human rights has requested. He can require the mandatory reporting of abuse to police. He can encourage victims to come forward even if statutes of limitation have expired. He can compensate victims and hold accountable those who covered up clergy abuse.
For starters, Francis could defrock, demote or discipline Bishop Robert Finn of St. Louis, Mo., who was convicted of shielding an abusive priest. The pope should extradite Archbishop Józef Wesolowski of Poland, who is wanted by law enforcement for allegedly molesting five children. Action against both prelates would scare other bishops into obeying secular laws and helping, rather than hindering, the prosecution of predators.
Pope Francis should order all bishops to post on their websites — as 30 U.S. bishops have done — the names, photos, whereabouts and work histories of proven, admitted and credibly accused child-molesting clerics.
Then, publicly praise and promote the first few who do so. Francis should mandate bishops across the world to begin lobbying for better secular child-safety laws, then publicly praise and promote the first few who do.
It will take proven, public and practical steps that actually protect those at risk, expose those who commit clergy sex crimes and punish those who conceal them. Pope Francis must make sure bishops who conceal child sex crimes are punished inside and outside the Catholic Church.
Pedophile priests cannot be deterred. Complicit bishops can. Only the pope can do this. He can do it quickly and simply, by defrocking or demoting them and making it crystal clear why he is taking such actions. Consistent discipline is the missing piece. And that’s why the cover-ups continue.
Prayers, policies, pledges, apologies and meetings with victims aren’t enough. They are public-relations tactics, all said and done before. They don’t safeguard a single child, expose a single predator or deter a single cover-up. Symbolic moves are actually hurtful because they support a sense of complacency and give people false hope that real reform will follow, when it hasn’t and isn’t.
If Pope Francis insists on using only words and gestures, he should publicly praise Jennifer Haselberger, the brave Minnesota whistle-blower whose disclosures have prompted pending police investigations and exposed numerous child-molesting clerics and corrupt church officials.
But words and gestures alone won’t work and Pope Francis must know it. He must find the courage to wield a stick. It’s time for him to get serious, protect vulnerable children and be the leader he is called to be.
Mary Dispenza is the Puget Sound representative for SNAP, the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests. She is also the author of “Split: A Child, a Priest and the Catholic Church.”
http://seattletimes.com/html/
Why Can’t They Just Get Over It?
/in impact, New York, Resources /by SOL ReformHe is still seven years old. He is still being given the special treats he loves and the extra attention he savors by the counselor he trusts. He is still being groomed. There are back rubs he enjoys . . . and then there is more. Did the counselor really mean to do what he did, or was that by accident? There is confusion. The seven-year-old submits because he is afraid to suddenly say no. Daily, the abuse continues and escalates. Although he looks like a very eligible 30-year-old, he is still seven years old, still terrified of trusting, because that means getting tricked.
He is still seven years oldShe is still five years old, and her older brother is still holding her down and doing what he feels like to her. She is still hearing the footsteps of the rest of her family, walking in the living room above, unable to protect her from what is happening in the basement right below them. She may appear to be a 55-year-old woman now, but anytime she hears people walking on a floor above her, she is still being violated.
Trauma and the Brain
Often, well-meaning people are not able to understand why many survivors of abuse are not able to “just get over it.” When one understands the mechanisms of the brain and the way it stores and retrieves memories, however, the picture becomes clearer.
Traumatic experiences remain encoded in a primitive part of our brain, the amygdala, which automatically goes into “fight or flight” mode when triggered by certain stimuli, even decades later.
The lower part of our brainstem, unlike our far more complex prefrontal cortex, doesn’t have the level of sophistication needed to be able to tell the difference between triggers that signal real danger and those that do not. Footsteps above or even a particular place or food can elicit an automatic response that floods the body with terror, since those stimuli are neurologically linked to the approach of the abuser.
Survivors of abuse would love to be able to move forward with their lives! Why would anyone want to feel trapped by depression,So how can we help? PTSD, dissociative disorders, eating disorders, drug addictions and anxiety? Unfortunately, these are the diverse symptoms that may manifest in survivors of abuse.
Treatment and Support
Since trauma resides in the mind, body and spirit, it can be extremely hard to recover from its effects. Recent advancements in functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), however, have demonstrated the neuroplasticity of even the lower brain, proving physiologically what our Jewish texts have always made clear—that great healing, though clearly challenging, is possible.
So how can we help?
For one, it’s important that survivors get the treatment they need. Clinical experts with comprehensive knowledge of the most effective treatment modalities for healing trauma can be very helpful to survivors in the recovery process.
But you don’t need an advanced degree in psychology to be there for someone who is suffering. The awareness alone of how survivors are haunted by flashbacks and are trying to avoid certain triggers can help you respond with more understanding and compassion. In Ethics of Our Fathers (2:5), we are wisely encouraged not to judge people unless we have been in their situation.
Here are some examples of things that are usually helpful to say (if said from the heart):
● I’m sorry this happened to you.
● If you ever feel like talking, I am here to listen.
● I care about you.
● How can I be of help?
● I don’t know what to say.
Prevention and Protection
We are learning that 95% of sexual abuse is preventable through education, so let’s continue to calmly and clearly teach young children how to be aware of inappropriate behavior and how to respond. If we are proactive, then it is unlikely that a child’s intuition will be easily disarmed by the perpetrators that they encounter.
There still remains a widespread myth that predators appear scary, when they usually strive very hard to appear just as pleasant and altruistic—and sometimes even more so—than most people. Children need to learn that even people who act nice in many ways can sometimes listen to their yetzer harah (evil inclination), and they should be sure to tell a trusted adult if any inappropriate behavior occurs.
As adults, we should know that even if the statute of limitations has passed, and a perpetrator of abuse can no longer be prosecuted for a particular crime, the crime should still be reported to theSexual abuse is a particularly invasive type of abuse civil authorities. If the predator is still alive and not incarcerated, he is still likely to be molesting children. In numerous cases, decades-old reports have helped to apprehend active perpetrators.
The Pure Soul
Sexual abuse is a particularly invasive type of abuse, as it destroys innocence. What was stolen cannot be given back. The defilement, however, is unable to reach into the deepest levels of the soul, the infinite part of oneself that is always connected to G‑d. For protection, a survivor’s inner core may have become well-hidden. Wrapped and trapped in fear, the soul’s light may appear darkened, but beneath all the protective coverings, it still exudes a uniquely beautiful light full of Divine energy that is as pure and radiant as ever. Our appreciation of this, combined with patience and dedication, can help us support all those who are still hurting.
Like everyone else, survivors of abuse yearn to be loved. And their unique light, which has been clouded over, still yearns to shine.